Only You Can Make a Change: Week 8 Growth Mindset

(Hilltop Oak Tree uploaded to Public Domain Pictures by Ken Kistler)

Lately, I've been thinking that the major growth of my mindset will come after I finish college and start coming to terms with my life being unshackled from schedules.

Not for the reason that schedules are limiting, oh, no; I actually find them comforting, since I can make a clearly drawn up plan out of a schedule. You don't often have that luxury in real life, it's a self-determining process on where you want to go and what you want to do.

This is difficult since I am so used to being in a routine that whenever something unpredictable interrupts or changes that routine, I become flustered, confused, and angry with myself. I can certainly put my mind to work, but the fact of my problem is that I only know how to be motivated when I am scripted to do something and there are stakes. Therapy and serious time in real world environments are going to inform whether or not I can function in a new way.

I still have plenty of problems regarding not doing things last minute, stepping outside of my comfort zone, taking risks, and confidence, however I always strive for a good effort no matter the consequences, and if that requires improving my set of skills beyond its current capabilities, then so bet it.

I have a long way to go before I can seem as positive as the people around me without much worry, and I fear my obsessive tendencies may never change, but I'm sure that with friends and family to help encourage and support, I will remain strong and stable.

Spring Interlude: Week 8 Reflections

The past seven weeks mark the first time I have ever put my knowledge of writing to creating fictional stories, and I can safely say that it is an enjoyable practice, even if my methods might seem odd.

I often do reading note sessions in one sitting, and that means writing two blog posts back-to-back. Mostly I do this on Sunday evening since these don't have stressing standards and are more of brainstorming sessions. I tend to write down scraps from readings that I can expand on for stories, using evidence from the reading as rationale. This requires going back and reviewing whatever I ultimately decide to use for Wednesday, but when I get going, the train doesn't make a full stop. I also tend to flip-flop between readings that emphasize fantasy spectacle and those that emphasize story, depending on what kind of story I would like to tell.

(Accueil scribe uploaded by Philippe Kurlapski at French Wikisource, transferred to Wikimedia Commons)

Speaking of these stories, they were some of the most fun I had writing in a while. As a byproduct of my Creative Media Production classes, I tend to start with the reading notes and the ending I want to convey, and from there I work out what POV, imagery, and pacing I want the words to contain, how much dialogue there will be, and so on. I'd love to see what I can learn about writing for leaving multiple interpretations of a story, as it takes a good deal of eloquence in subject matter knowledge to write in such a way. Still, I'm happy with using fantasy to tell human values, with some of my favorite stories written being The Black Seamstress (Week 6), A Spirited Vixation (Week 7), and Solitary Confinement (Week 2). That storytelling rule is also why I created Sunlight's Reflection (Link on Comment Wall), which is a bit of a challenge with a frame plot that spreads across multiple chapters that I need to decide on an impulse basis, but I'm proud of the idea anyway.

This feeling of pride is why I am always iffy on leaving feedback; no matter how many times I read my classmates' stories and find points of improvement to leave behind, I can never bring myself to be completely blunt since I assume they've poured out their best writing, and I don't want to bring them down too much with a blunt evaluation. I've noticed character construction and fleshing out the plot as trends in my feedback, based on stories I've read, so that's something I would always like to keep in mind. I suppose bluntness is something I could bring if people wanted that, and I could provide more concrete examples on how to reach a certain message in a story, but I feel like that takes away the satisfaction and creative learning process of the writer trying to see how faults can be rectified.

Regardless, whatever the future holds for our second half, I have little doubt that I will continue to enjoy writing stories for all of you and for my enjoyment. Making a hobby of writing doesn't seem that bad...