Week 3 Story: Link, Learn, Live

Long ago, all that could be known was nothing. In the cradle of space, the world and its neighbors existed as dust, barren, and lifeless.

However, this did not last. From the deep blackness, a monolithic structure suddenly appeared, light embedded into its stone foundation like veins, and its structure covered and overflowing with greenery and clear water.

Sprouting from this floating garden, strings of light embedded the planet and its surrounding bodies, and they began to change. In an instant, one body became as lush green and hydrated as the garden itself, one burned with bright warmth, and the last shone with serene luminescence.

No later than when the flora and streams emerged, life took shape from the lights showering from the floating mountain. Furred to feathered, land to sea, and big to small, the world swarmed with life and prosperity.

Then, came a new development.

Gathering particles of the earth up into itself, deep in the core of the garden, a new kind of life stirred. One of an ideal form to inherit the world, signify it, and cultivate it.

Posture: Bipedal.

Stature: Broad.

Behavior: Inquisitive.

Intellect: Expansive.

The being that emerged from the core of the garden was a tall, flesh-tone creature, young, and without direction.

“Adej.”

The newly born life turned to the core where the voice came from, as if familiar with its presence, yet repeated its word, seeking answers.

“Yes, Adej. That is your new name, to mark the beginning of not just your life, but the lives to come.”

“Lives to come?” Adej asked, understandably confused.

In a matter of moments, Adej was transported in a pillar of light up to the garden’s upper levels, and the blues, greens and sprawling herds of wildlife were brought to his eyes.

“As I have willed the stars to gleam,” the voice echoed, “So have I willed the trees to grow, the seas to flourish, and for you and all beasts to cherish and embrace the life I grant to you through this: The Ecosystem Development and Establisment Nexus.”

The revelation left Adej speechless with wonder.

“However, E.D.E.N. and I alone cannot care for this world.”

Floating displays of the planet’s surface and beast inhabitants magically appeared before Adej.

“The world must be explored, others must begin with names, and all must be shared. Adej, will you help me?”

To spread and reproduce the joy he felt, Adej eagerly complied, however…

“What do I call you?” Adej asked.

The voice chuckled. “Yes…I suppose we must start somewhere. My name is…Jahveh.”

Thus, it began. Sustained by E.D.E.N. and Jahveh with life and longevity, Adej worked, giving names to the various beasts, monitoring the planet’s environment, and relishing in bliss.

But, though Adej enjoyed his lease on life, one simply could not manage it all. Therefore, Jahveh decided that two would manage.

From Adej’s blueprint, Jahveh brought a similar life to accompany him.

Posture: Bipedal.

Stature: Slender.

Behavior: Curious.

Intellect: Expansive.

If Adej were the world’s foundation, Ruvee was additional structure, designed to support Adej, and he would support in return.

However, Jahveh felt there more to acknowledge: a disconnect between the other beasts and his two assistants.

He scanned the world, and found capacity for great wisdom and power within scaled bipeds much like his assistants, designated “Serpents” by Adej.

Thus, Jahveh sought out the counsel of the wisest and strongest Serpent. Eventually, one came forth, pursuing knowledge: one with a hooded skin, calling himself Pythos.

Adej, Ruvee, Pythos. The three oversaw the new world, free to embrace and cultivate all things.

All except one. While freedom existed in all other respects, singular steel doors deep in the bottom of E.D.E.N., said by Jahveh to contain incomprehensible knowledge, remained closed at his request.

The three stayed away, until Pythos requested audience with Ruvee.

“Jahveh creates the stars to contain the world, the world to contain life, and life to contain knowledge. It should follow that we possess more than enough capability to comprehend whatever hides in that door,” Pythos reasoned.

Ruvee filled with unease at what Adej would think, him ever loyal to Jahveh, but Pythos was a trusted friend, with seemingly sound rhetoric.

With shaky hands, Ruvee opened the doors.

Suddenly, distorted, corrupt energy dashed through the doorway and out into the world, foreign, disturbing thoughts entering Adej and Ruvee’s minds.

Without warning, the three assistants found themselves expunged to land westward of E.D.E.N., and sheets of blades coated in radiant fire surrounded it, segregating it from the world.

Tension and confusion erupted between Adej, Ruvee, and Pythos, until Jahveh intervened.

“You did not heed my warning,” Jahveh uttered, “and now the potential for sin, malice, and degradation seeps into the world and its future generations, as you see.”

Indeed, the plains, seas, sun, moon, even the life and E.D.E.N. itself. All in the world lost the luster and purity it once possessed.

Feeling guilt, Ruvee admitted she indeed opened the doors, but only at Pythos’ suggestion.

Pythos, the proudest and wisest of beasts, exploded into furious ravings claiming unequal privilege between himself, his colleagues, and his creator, laying bare his envy and loathing.

For his deceit and savagery, Jahveh punished Pythos by vanquishing his strong limbs, his eloquent tongue, and his brilliant mind. The proud beast now lay belly-down upon the ground in humility.

“For further punishment, you will not return to E.D.E.N. until you live out the rest of your days, upon which I will put your souls to rest back at your birthplace.

“Until then, cherish, explore, and reflect on all that is and will be. Good luck, my children. I will watch over you…”

Jahveh spoke no more.

While unsure of the direction their lives would take now, Adej and Ruvee decided to do what they always did, together.

Hand in hand, the two set off against towards the wind and sun, the once mighty Pythos slithering behind.

 

(Birds flying across a sunrise, uploaded to Pixbay by user lumpi on Nov. 3rd, 2015)

What came after, the future of humankind could only decide.

Authors Note

So, obviously, this is an Adam and Eve retelling. However, it is quite a radical change; the Garden of Eden is what is essentially an ancient, live-giving supercomputer, the central characters of God, Adam, Eve, and a combination of the serpent and Lucifer all have new names, and the serpent itself has an expanded role as part of the "founding fathers" of the world.

The element of E.D.E.N. and some of the writing intends to play off of the sensibilities of our technologically-ingrained society, interconnecting us with great pleasure and learning potential, yet also capable of darkness and discomfort, evident by the glitch-like evils escaping from the vaults of E.D.E.N. and corrupting present life and cursing future generations. I also wrote imagery with vivid words in hopes of further immersing the reader.

Combining the right elements of the Serpent and Lucifer to create Pythos' character was a difficult task, but I would say my weakness writing this (and an unfortuante constraint of the word limit of the course this was written for) was finding the right balance of dialogue and narration to pace the story in a pleasurable manner. Even now I still feel somewhat disappointed I couldn't expand the lives of these characters further, but c'est la vie. I at least hope something of enjoyment came out of it.

Fun Fact: While I tried to keep true to their original source, I named all the characters in this story based on programming languages! Try to guess which character is based on what!

Bibliography

Adam & Eve Unit of Mythology and Folklore UN-Textbook, story sources vary.

Reading Notes: Adam and Eve, Part B

(Adam and Eve, painted by Albrecht Dürer (1471–1528) and taken from Wikimedia Commons)

Adam and Eve know heavenly bliss in Eden; no need for fear, self-sustaining practices, and to learn. Expulsion from Eden throws them into new challenges that go against the familiar: learning to cope with the day-night cycle and mortal landscape, as well as coming to terms with the rhetoric behind their sins. Make this the end point of the story?

Vivid imagery in this and part A of the reading. Incorporate this in to immerse the reader. Describe the sensory impact of these too?

Unification of sin and humanity through the meeting of Adam, Eve, and the serpent, who becomes incapable of speech, stripped of its physical prowess through its severed limbs, and reduced in intelligence.

Struggle of Adam and Eve to cope with their situation, what led up to it, and their newly discovered conscience from eating fruit of the Tree of Knowledge.

Bouncing off the idea of ancient technology from the part A blog post: suppose the Garden of Eden were a sort of administrative system for the planet? Monitoring its state and providing the creation of mortal men and beasts, as well as their nourishment.

To that end, we also have moderators of Eden and the world (Adam and Eve figures, maybe the serpent as well, being the most intelligent of all beasts before his downfall) appointed by an administrator figure (paralleling God's role).

 All of humanity linked spiritually to the effects of this Eden system?

I can't possibly cover all of Adam and Eve's journey through sorrow in between 500 to 1000 words. Try to find the core parts of the grievances and focus on those?

Open ending? Message of coping with grief and sin, as well as learning to move past mistakes and create a better future.

Writing style: Science fiction elements, with ancient history vibe. Fantastical and slightly vivid visuals. Unsure on dialogue or no dialogue, maybe choose words with no inclination to a specific period.

Bibliography

Adam and Eve, story sources vary inside, from King James' Bible to The Legend of the Jews by Louis Ginzberg

Reading Notes: Adam and Eve, Part A

(Lucifer, the fallen angel by Gustave Doré on an unknown date, posted to Wikimedia Commons on April 5th, 2008)

Personifying the Earth itself is an interesting concept. How aware is it of the events of Genesis? What is it feeling, like how we get a glimpse of it in the story of Lilith's creation?

The whole of God's creating humanity, the animals, and the various aspects of Eden can be interpreted as a test for humanity to estimate the character of them. Can this story be reconstructed in a form that will speak to a technologically ingrained society? Perhaps through a science fiction-like makeover, ancient tech or otherwise?

Women accused as a source of evil in the world: Lilith punished for wanting to have the same equality and rights as Adam, and Eve is blamed by Adam for bringing him to sin. There are also patriarchal tendencies in the distinctions between man created from dust and woman created from the bone of man.

How far can worship of God be pushed? To what extent is one responsible for a sin? Why punish humankind for seeking knowledge and yet willingly give them the capacity for it? Is God's vision of humanity's happiness the only vision of happiness worth pursuing?

Branching off of the topic of knowledge, the serpent is a POV that could prove interesting to explore. Ask questions about placing animals under man, why knowledge is forbidden when made a gift from God, and explore motivations.

Branching of of that, would it be likely that the serpent, Lilith, and Satan have a familial relation to one another? What if they convened and discussed their grievances with God's holy decrees and the world and order he has constructed.

Adam and Eve as high observers of humanity, the animals, and order is something that I feel is implied in the text. Might this be an idea worth exploring?

Bibliography

Adam and Eve, story sources vary, from King James' Bible to The Legend of the Jews by Louis Ginzberg

You are Your Own Harshest Critic: Feedback Thoughts

(Inspirational quote graphic by Raphael Love, uploaded to Flickr on Feb. 20th, 2015, no  changes made)

I would say the road I travel in relation to receiving and giving feedback is often laden with potholes. On the receiving end, I will probably not look at feedback notes because I am busy with other stuff, not get the message because it's either not clear enough or not fully captivated, or amplify the negatives far too often for my own admittance. On the giving end, I have no experience doing this, feeling inarticulate for it, or worry that my feedback will come off the wrong way to someone or is actually detrimental to their work.

The articles I have read presented me with interesting ideas on how to approach both receiving and giving feedback that I might want to try putting into practice. They also put forth good suggestions for improving my general mood so that I can focus more in classes and enjoy life.

On the giving end, I love Wiggins' clearly laid out seven steps on what feedback should be, and will probably refer to them often when giving feedback, writing as concisely, objectively, and promptly as I can so that the feedback is useful. Word choice suggested by Rutsch will also be a consideration to keep the egos of others in check, thought I'd really enjoy receiving feedback with that consideration as well.

On receiving feedback, Nawaz' perspective on turning to the positives rather than blowing up even the smallest of negatives in situations is a nice wake-up call that I hope I can apply, especially with my worrying tendencies. Winch's advice on realizing and reinforcing the qualities that make you a worthwhile person and extending your social network and relationships for support is also something I could use in my life.

These strategies are not going to be applied instantly, but I feel they are stepping stones in the right direction.

Bibliography

Why Rejection Hurts and What to Do About It , Guy Winch, Dec. 8th, 2015

Silence the Critical Voices in Your Head, Sabina Nawaz, Dec. 5th, 2016

Key Characteristics of Better Learning Feedback,  Grant Wiggins, Oct. 10th, 2015

The Difference Between Praise That Promotes Narcissism vs. Healthy Self-Esteem,  Poncie Rutsch, Mar. 10th, 2015

Week 2 Story: Solitary Confinement

Echo’s life was a tiring, thankless, and unfulfilled one. While her sister nymphs were off consorting with the king of gods Zeus himself in rapturous, passionate lovemaking, Echo was left to the stressful task of distracting Zeus’ wife Hera with lengthy prattle from catching them in the act.

To make matters worse, Hera caught on to the purpose of these conversations and, in her petulance, punished Echo for it. “If your actions serve the unruliness of others,” she had said, “then your tongue shall do the same!” From then on, Echo could only repeat that last spoken of what she hears. At the whims of others and with no prosperity for herself.

One day, Echo overheard a conversation between a soothsayer famous for his completely accurate predictions and the naiad Dusky Liriope, whom she heard of being the wife of the renowned river god Cephisus.

“Word spreads fast of your faultless foresight, Tiresias, though I cannot help but be skeptical,” Dusky speaks. “Thus, I come to challenge that ability, to ask if a long, prosperous life awaits in the future of my beautiful son.”

“Beautiful son?” Echo quietly repeats, her interest piqued.

Tiresias replies “I acknowledge your concern, and wish to sate it for the sake of your son, Narcissus. Born of Cephisus himself, no? Takes long walks in the woods? Quite a handsome lad, he is, with dark tresses as flowing as the rivers themselves. I see greatness in him, but the future is as malleable as clay, and it is best for it if he does not know only himself…”

“Only himself…” Echo says, her imagination swimming. She had served the lovemaking needs of the other nymphs for so long, why not serve herself for once? Her mind made up and her heart swelling with warmth, she flew off in search of the boy with silky dark hair.

For Narcissus himself, he is indeed as self-centered as Tiresias said, though only so much can be blamed on himself. While handsome at the ripe age of sixteen, this drew unwanted attention from many a maiden, seeing only his surface, and unwanted ire from many a man his age, envious of his apparent charm.

Thus, Narcissus became paranoid of his beauty, obsessed with a magnet that draws ruin. He felt only comfortable confiding in himself, knowing he would not sing hollow words of affection or deliver undue hate upon himself. He often retreats to the woods for his own sake.

Such a stroll leads Echo to him. Completely entranced, she desired nothing more than to caress him and whisper sweet nothings in his ear. Concern ran through her head, since she would only be able to repeat what has been said before, but knew such a risk was worth taking for love. She followed behind, and listened closely for what she could do.

“Thank the gods,’ Narcissus muttered. “Finally, away from all the ruckus so I can take in nature’s beauty itself…”

No sooner had Narcissus spoke that he heard the whisper of “Beauty itself…” through the trees. 

Stunned, he glances around and calls out “Is anyone here?”

“Here,” the voice repeats.

Narcissus stood frightened, clearly unamused. “Cease this tomfoolery and let us meet face to face!”

“Face to face!” The voice uttered with glee, and with that, Echo crept up behind Narcissus and wrapped her arms around his neck, passion in her eyes.

The boy turned to meet the nymph, and was immediately overcome with denial from being denied solitude.

“Get away from me!” Narcissus shouted as he shoved Echo away. “I would rather die before all of me is yours!”

“All of me is yours!” Echo pleaded, but all for naught, as Narcissus had fled.

The heart-broken Echo dashed into the woods and cried. She cried and cried into the earth for what seemed like eternity until her body disappeared into it. Her voice’s sound left upon the wind.

Word spread fast among the nymphs of the one who scorned Echo to her fate until it reached the goddess Nemesis’ ears, who decided, “Content with himself? Then let him try to command himself for much longer.” 

On a hot day, Narcissus stumbled upon a fountain in the woods. The water clear as glass, unheated thanks to the shade of the trees.

As Narcissus drank, he gazed at his reflection in the water – his gleaming eyes, flowing locks and angelic face – and as if spellbound reached out to himself, only to catch water.

He frantically tried to embrace himself, the one thing he confided in, but could not. His tears blend with the fountain’s streams as he cries in despair.

“Why? Even my own self betrays me! Reaching out to me, only to be denied by the veil of water! Please, stay! The empty attention and endless distaste! I cannot bear it without you!”

Narcissus pleaded and begged into the waves, erratically tearing out at himself in his madness, his clothes torn and chest bleeding red. Eventually his madness gives way to exhaustion as he falls to the ground, staining the greenery with blood, his form a shadow of what it once was.

“Alas, my love, fate rips me from my one salvation, and sadness is too much to bear living with! Please, let me lie and bask in my love for one last moment, so that I may know peace…”

His mind going dark, Narcissus could have sworn he heard his cry repeat in the wind.

His body was found by the naiads and dryads, whose lamentations wound through the trees for hours in remembrance of their brother.

When they came back from preparing the funeral pyre, there was strangely no body to be found. In place of their brother was a flower, petals white with a heart of red and yellow in the center. The confused murmurs among Narcissus’ sisters echoed without answer.

(Narcissus radiiflorus, created by Tigerente, a user on Wikimedia Commons, on April 3rd, 2006)

A wind only in service of others. A flower content in itself. Their true nature locked in solitude.

Author's Note: As is evident, this is a retelling of the story of Narcissus, a gorgeous boy so obsessed with himself that it becomes his undoing, giving us the term of "narcissist", and Echo, a nymph forced to repeat what others say, whose weeping carried on the wind as her body decayed, giving the origin of the phenomenon of echoing itself.

Rather than being a simple retelling, I wanted to expand on the characters of Echo and Narcissus, turning them into more sympathetic characters, making the ending much more tragic. This was simple for me to imagine for Echo, but Narcissus is where I had to really strech my brain to turn him into an understandable character.

I felt it was wholly unrealistic for someone to be utterly consumed by themselves in such a direct way, but with an outside influence, the attention given to Narcissus received as unwanted, turning him into somewhat of a recluse, this self-centered mindset made more sense to me, and I hoped it put a good twist on his character, drilling the tragedy home of two souls acting for their own peace, but fate and the expectations of others dealing a cruel hand.

From there it was just a matter of touching up some of the words to make it flow more cohesively and get it within the maximum word count. Whatever the case, I hope there's something you can take away from this and give feedback on!

Bibliography

Ovid's Metamorphoses: Echo and Narcissus, both translated by Tony Kline in 2000